Faith Style

As humans we tend to procrastinate and put off what we could do today.  Does the person with a terminal illness have the luxury of procrastination.  We all want some extent of change in our lives, a new figure, more money, improved relationships, the list goes on and on.  The date should not matter, the fact is we are here today.  Life is short and the journey moves faster and faster.  January 1st or June 1st participate in life.  Make your thoughts ACTIONS today.  Feel the rain on your face, the sunshine on your back, for yesterday is already a memory, tomorrow is not promised.  Today is a gift of the present.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to write a number of posts to give you some tools you can use to begin to identify your passions.

I meet so many people that tell me they are ready to make a change in their life, but have no idea where to start. They may have more than one interest that is pulling them in different directions or they have found they have gotten so far off track, they are having a hard time identifying something they are passionate about.

Not only is this topic an important focus of life coaching, I believe it’s an essential part of health and wellness as well. Our passions feed our spirit. They give us joy, happiness, fulfillment and inspiration. They motivate us and give us something to look forward to in our day or week.

When passion is missing in our life, we look for that satisfaction and fulfillment in other places – food, alcohol, television, relationships and even work. All of these things are not “unhealthy” in themselves, but when they are used to numb our real feelings or ignore a larger issue, then they become unhealthy, sometimes to the point of addiction.

I’ve found over the years that at the root of most people’s eating or weight issues there is usually something deeper. The people that come to see me either already know this, or they don’t realize they are unhappy until we begin to work through the constructs they have designed to avoid dealing with their true feelings.

In both cases, what is often missing is a deeper sense of joy and fulfillment. This is something we cannot get from external sources. It comes from within, when we are connected to our passion and our authentic nature.

It’s important to remember that there is nothing wrong with you if you find yourself in this situation. Don’t beat yourself up for not having figured it out. This is part of the journey, part of your growth as a human being. In our society, very few of us have had the benefit as young children to witness healthy emotional behavior. We are often not taught how to express our feelings, or even recognize them.

Over several posts, I’m going to share with you some clues that will help you to narrow down and identify your passions. They are all around you. Your true self is always trying to steer you in the direction of joy and fulfillment, it’s a just a matter of learning how to notice the signs. These signs are almost always linked to your emotions.

So here’s clue #1: Pay attention to what or who you are jealous of.

We’ve been taught that jealousy is a negative emotion. But really all of our emotions are signs that something is coming up for us. Jealousy is a sign that there is something the other person has that we want – whether that be a lifestyle, a job, a good figure, a relationship, etc. The key is not to focus on the object of our jealousy and steam about how unfair life is. You have to use the emotional clue to notice that this is an issue for you and something you have to pay attention to. In order to have the thing you are jealous or envious of, you will have to do the work yourself. Understand that if this wasn’t personally connected to you in some way, you would not be jealous.

I will share with you my own example. When I was working in the corporate world, I was always noticing stories of entrepreneurs. People who left their jobs and followed their passion. They got to work on their own terms and do what they loved and get paid for it. I so wanted their life. I wasn’t however, jealous of successful CEO’s or lawyers or doctors or concert pianists. These things didn’t have an emotional charge for me. That is the key: emotional charge. This is one way that we know we are connecting to our true self. Any time emotions are involved, we need to notice them and watch for the clues.

The trick is not to stay focused on the emotion of jealousy. Notice what it is showing you and then let it go. If you want that life, thing, job etc., you have to realize that this person has done the work to get it. The process for taking action is more than I can get into in one post, but I hope that in noticing some of your feelings you will be able to start to identify some potential areas for you to look into. Journaling can be very helpful here.

Many people live their entire lives half-living. They run on autopilot, never taking the time to explore and honor who they are and what they came here to experience. If you’re at a place in your life right now where you feel a sense of frustration, or boredom, or desire for something different, honor that feeling and begin the process of self discovery. It may require a bit of effort (anything worth having always does), but the reward of living each day truly happy and fulfilled is so worth it.

Start paying attention to this first clue, and I’ll share more in the coming posts.

I dream of lightness, I dream of traveling to remote countries where the culture is rich and the people make you humble. I dream of creating an never-ending story of purpose inspired by all that is good in this world and evoking a chain of changes that result in pure and soulful happiness

About Madly in Love with ME™
Kicking off every year with International Madly in Love with ME™ Day on February 13th, the Madly in Love with ME™ movement was created to inspire, dare, and guide women and girls around the world to fall more in love with themselves. With events in cities around the world on February 13th, and a plethora of virtual opportunities women can use to create their own self-love extravaganzas, we are on a mission to reclaim self-love has hot, hip and hers for every woman and girl.

Faith Style is extremely excited to be participating in this important movement. I believe that “You must be faithful to your body, to your emotions, to your desires and most importantly to be faithful to you”. Because when you are true to who you are and love yourself just as you are great things start to transpire. Check back next week where I will be posting my personal Self-Love Manifesta, interview with Christine Arylo (creator of this amazing day) and a great giveaway of a ME Necklace.

Walking into the front foyer I was met by an obnoxious, red, inflatable ‘jumpy castle’. You know the ones that are usually outdoors at birthday parties? Not this one. I could barely get around. It took up the WHOLE foyer. I smiled. Looking to the right, what would be a ‘living room’ was actually a living room. The pool table covered in toys, books everywhere. If I was 3 this would be heaven. 31…turning 32 on friday…and this was heaven. Most ‘living rooms’ are never LIVED in…more like museums, you can look but dare not touch. I’ve never understood that. It actually makes me cringe. Don’t even get me started on plastic coverings for couches. We can’t handle clutter, toys strewn everywhere gives us anxiety. A jumpy castle in the foyer? The neighbours??…what will they think? When we impose our own beliefs, what we think is right/wrong on our children…the wheels of their dream wagons slowly stop turning. If we can create space (even just a bit) for our discomfort to be, well, uncomfortable…what was once obnoxious, red, inflatable and subject to gossip…now becomes possibility. The WHO that really matters get to be the dreamers, explorers and adventurers who IN their castles, believe they can do anything. No boundaries, with the freedom that they can build their castles anywhere. Life lived by museum rules of NO or don’t touch, creates limits, restrictions and ideas. Children become discouraged to even ‘try’ new things. They no longer dream or even believe they are capable of anything. When WE begin to let go however NO becomes ‘try this’. Encouragement empowers failure. We learn from our mistakes. Let your own beliefs be just that, you’re own. The idea of how YOUR world should be (I bet) has held you back from enjoying what truly is important. The messy, juicy-ness of life. Cake batter on the counter, toys in every corner of the house, socks on the floor and for those of you who are really brave…a jumpy castle in the foyer…

Yes, shoes are glorious, but more often than not, storing them can cause less than glamorous feelings.  If you’re feeling footwear frustration, you’re not alone. I often get questions about how and where to store shoes, and especially now we’re in winter, beautiful boots.

Here are some tips to get your shoes in order. Read through and keep in mind your personal habits to determine which options will work with your lifestyle and storage space.  Of course, you have to also factor in your love of shoes and the degree to which that influences the amount of indoor real estate you devote to them.

The first step in any organizing project is to decide your goal.  Is it to make sure you can display prize footwear?  Do you simply want to clear the front doorway of shoe clutter?  Do you want to be able to access your full assortment of shoes easily?  It’s your goal. Decide what it is and keep it in mind as you go through the process.

Next, assess your storage space. Look around with fresh eyes and consider all your options – entranceways, closets, under beds and the backs of doors are all shoe storage options.  Measure the spaces and get an idea of how many shoes and boots can be accommodated.

Let’s take a closer look at some of the storage options that exist.

Shelving – Ideal for near an entrance or inside a closet, stackable shelving provides flexible and easy access for every day shoes.  Expanding models ensure that no space is wasted. The top shelf is the ideal spot for boots or high-top shoes.  Keep them standing tall with boot inserts. If putting shoes on display, choose a shelving colour that complements your space. You’ll find shelving comes in a variety of materials including plastic, wood, metal, and combinations with fabric.

Shoe boxes – A shoe box is ideal for shoes that are delicate or worn less often. I recommend recycling the original shoe boxes (or using them in drawers as inexpensive drawer dividers) and using stackable boxes of uniform size.  Choose clear boxes if you like to see what’s inside, or for quick recognition add a label or photo.  Seldom-used shoes can be stored safely in boxes on upper closet shelves.

Hanging shoe storage – Look for a sturdy model of adequate width to hold your shoes. Use them in hall closets or in the bedroom.   If you have free sections (ha!) they are also ideal for outdoor accessories such as gloves and scarves.

Over the door shoe storage – Ideal for lighter footwear with low heels, use over the door storage in places that can accommodate the extra width on the back of the door without impeding your access or movement in the space.

Under the bed – This is a perfect option for high boots which can be placed on their sides under the bed. Look for zippered bags to protect footwear from dust.

Covered Bins – Bins with lids are ideal for off-season storage. They preserve your footwear and can be stacked to maximize space in storage areas. Before placing shoes or boots in bins though, make sure they are wiped clean and polished if necessary. You will also want to stuff paper into any large cavities to prevent crushing.  Layer paper between levels to protect shoes from scratching each other.

Decide which of the options works for you and then translate that into the number of pairs of shoes and boots that can be reasonably stored. That means without cramming them in!

Now for the hard part – it’s time to figure out if your shoe collection will fit comfortably, or if it needs to go on a diet.  Ask yourself these questions to help cull your collection. You really do have the answers.

a)     How does the shoe or boot make you feel?

b)    How often do you actually wear them?

c)     How well do they work with your current wardrobe?

d)    What is the condition of the shoe? Is the leather still supple?

e)     How much room do they take?

When shopping for shoe storage, measure or take your largest shoe along with you to make sure it fits. Employ these tips and your shoes will be smiling back at you.

Here’s a little twist from “Oliver”…

Shoes, glorious shoes!
What wouldn’t we give for
That extra bit more –
That’s all that we live for
Why should we be fated to
Do nothing but brood
On shoes,
Magical shoes,
Wonderful shoes,
Marvellous shoes,
Fabulous shoes!

What is your story?  We all have one. We use our stories to define ourselves and to create our lives.  Maybe your story is, “I’m someone who doesn’t know how to make money.” It could be, “I’m shy and it’s difficult for me to meet new people. Another is, “I’m a working mother so I’ve got no time for myself.”

The problem with most of our stories is that they have very little to do with who we really are.   Frequently your story is based on beliefs that you’ve gotten from other people.  You probably picked up information from your parents about about yourself and on topics such as money, relationships and motherhood. You may say that you’re bad a sports because you were picked last for dodge ball, everyday in the third grade. Now your story is simply a regurgitation of what your parents said and/or what some kids said to you in the third grade. Unfortunately you haven’t considered whether or not you really believe what they said about you.  You probably haven’t challenged these versions of you, although they are integral to the decisions that are creating your life.

In other instances our stories may have been true at some point but they are no longer relevant.  Suppose you had dated a string of losers before meeting your current husband/partner.  If your story is ”I’m you’re not good at relationships,” you’ll bring that concept  of you into your present situation.  Instead of enjoying the relationship, nurturing it and using it  to grow yourself, unconsciously you may sabotage it because you’re not really expecting it to work. Instead of being compassionate and seeking loving resolution to problems, unwittingly you may create conflict with your man.  Compassion and resolution don’t advance “your story,” but conflict does.

My story was based on my liberal arts snobbery. It went something like, “I am a writer, a speaker, a person of ideas, I don’t know anything about business.” The idea of having to promote myself and my work seemed crass. Consequently I gained a good reputation as a writer and public speaker, but my income was unstable—feast or famine. Why? Because I treated my work like a hobby and not as a business.  I had no marketing or publicity plan, no annual revenue projections and my bookkeeping was a joke. With some mentoring I realized that in order to serve more workings mothers, to pursue my life’s purpose that I had to educate more women about what I do.

Like me, you now may be seeking to make changes in your life. You may have experienced some devastating event such as a job loss, a death or a divorce that’s made you reassess your life.  If you haven’t dealt with a crisis you may finally be acknowledging  the nagging feeling you’d had that your life could be better. It’s at this point of  recognition that you want your life to be more abundant in one or several areas.  You may desire financial freedom, better health, more loving relationships, supportive friends, etc. So how do you get it?

You’ve got to write a new story.  New Year’s resolutions, goal-setting and affirmations are all useless if in your head you are repeated the same old, limiting story about yourself.   Your new story has to detail what you want to bring into your life.  My new story is, “I am a successful entrepreneur who’s grateful for the opportunity to be able to work from home and to receive a great income for empowering working mothers through my writing and speaking.”

I’m not going to lie and say that now I’m a millionaire because I changed my story. What I will say is that by creating a new story about myself and my work,  I immediately felt different energy. This new feeling of abundance has also led me to reach out and to meet new people who can help me with my business.  They are helping me to learn how to more effectively market and promote my work. This new feeling has also led me to build more structure and intentionality into Yvonne, Inc.

I don’t believe in get rich quick schemes or overnight success.  Success takes work and dedication.  However, if you are pursuing personal and professional goals that have meaning to you, “work” can be fun and financially rewarding.   I believe that my new story is helping me to lay the groundwork to meet my a new goals. I’ll keep this version of “my story” until I’m ready to move to the next level.

I think that the take-away is: As your story changes, your life changes.

Possibly of interest:
Are You Treating Your Home-Based Business Like a Hobby
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Yvonne Bynoe, Feature Writer

Yvonne Bynoe is the founder of SophisticatedWomanandMama.com, a company that teaches working mothers how to lead more productive, but less stressful lives.  Download her FREE report:  5 WAYS TO LOVE YOUR LIFE NOW and  STOP BEING A GUILTY, STRESSED OUT WORKING MOTHER at SophisticatedWomanandMama.com

You can also connect Yvonne on Twitter: Twitter.com/YvonneBynoe and on Facebook at Facebook.com/YvonneBynoe

If you attended the Honour Your Style Event that took place last week you were privileged to experience something extraordinary, the beautiful words of Fiona Suliman. My words cannot express the soul of this beautiful spirit. There were many who asked at the event and even there after for a copy of her powerful poem. Thank you Fiona for allowing me to share this with my auidence whom I know will be deeply touched by your words.

Perfect, Whole and Complete

Three words that I in no way used to describe me

I was funny and loyal and had a great personality

I was never the girl who I wanted to be

But this isn’t the story about who I used to be

I wanna tell you the story of when I opened my eyes

Not the ones I use to see my nose or my thick thighs

The ones I use to see the strength that lies inside

You see a girl who knows who she is

Is powerful and beautiful and radiates bliss

She is a girl who walks with her head held high

No matter what is being hollered from cars passing by

She is the girl who isn’t afraid of her tears, so they visit her less often

She is the girl who doesn’t see the things that she doesn’t want to see

None of it phases her; she is Perfect, Whole and Complete

Now a friend once asked does that mean you’ve given up?

Is there nothing more for you to achieve so you’re done?

You’re perfect, whole and complete?

The answer is simple, I’m never done.

Right now is all that matters

Right now I’m doing my best

Right now I am perfect, whole and complete

I will not let my past define me

I will not wait until my future to be happy

Right now I am living while before…

Well let’s just say, before there was a reason for change

And now that change has come

I wonder how I lived without it

And I remember…

Oh ya, I was the girl always trying to hide,

I was the girl who was loyal and kind

But those are just words used to describe

The girl who was victimized with tears in her eyes

Not because everyone thought she had a great personality…

BUT….

Yes, But…she’s a little heavy

She has a sexy voice but when her friends friends would ask

“Yo, what’s the deal with the girl who answered your phone?  Is she hot?”

You would say “no”

You see that made me, hate me.

But it has less than nothing to do with how you perceive me, but how I chose to look at my beauty.

It was those moments when I gave up my power by believing that you had any stake in how I feel

It was me victimizing myself to stay in the safe little 2 by 2 box that I could defined my entire self in.

It doesn’t matter if you think I’m hot or not

It doesn’t matter because validation isn’t necessary

When you have the answer inside of you

That box can’t hold everything that you are

Because you are bigger than your body and it has nothing to do with weight!

But, lets get back to that day… the day I opened my eyes

They were bloodshot and dry from years of crying on the inside

They were squinting, not quite ready to adjust to the light

This new light that was opening up inside of me

My heart was breaking

But not in the way you think I mean

My heart was breaking the shell of my self-hatred

My heart was opening to the beauty that was there all along

My heart was forcing me to see

Because I had forgotten

I had forgotten that I was perfect, whole and complete

That my Maker, made no mistakes on me

And that no person, not a single one on earth has the ability to take that away from me

I am my own best friend just like I was my own worst enemy

With my eyes now open and my language changing

Words like “can’t” turned into “probabilities” and “nevers” turned into “why nots”

I made my life into what I want it to be

See cuz I’m still loving, loyal, funny with a great personality

But I am also beautiful and strong and intelligent and sensual and well…I could go on and on and on but all you need to know is the woman standing before you, well she

She’s perfect and whole and complete

Written & Performed by Fiona Suliman. To experience these words by Fiona herself, click here

The way we look sends an immediate and powerful message to others.  Impeccable dress will never take the place of business smarts but it will increase your chances of success.  Credibility, trust and value can be easily achieved through 7 simple ways. Done properly can send unconscious messages that are recognized and immediately noticed as a sign of confidence. With a little effort and a lot of personality it is easy to look polished and professional in any line of business.

1. Wear properly fitted clothes. Never underestimate the power of a great fitted pant and elegant blouse. When things are perfectly fitted you instantly look reliable, dependable and capable. The same goes for a jacket or blazer the simple addition of this piece adds structure, confidence and authority.
2. Up-to-date on self maintenance? Making sure that you go for regular haircuts, get your eyebrows shaped and fingers and toes nicely manicured and polished. It is small things like these that have a big impact. You may feel that a peep-toe pump or sandal are inappropriate for the corporate world but a good mani/pedi and personal nail colour will give you a beautifully finished look.  Details make all the difference. A chic outfit will be completely degraded by chipped nail polish.
3. Scent is a very powerful memory trigger.
4. Jewelry is an integral part of your personality. It can be a topic of discussion and even a point of envy.  Accessorizing your outfits says “I respect myself as an individual.”
5. Lipstick/Lip gloss, worn regularly will make a subtle, yet remarkable change on you. Giving the impression that you value yourself. If you take the time to add a little lip gloss it’s pretty likely that you’ll take the extra time to do other things.
6. Scarves are a great inexpensive way to pull your entire look together adding colour and warmth to a understated outfit.
7. Practice Your Posture, the goal should be to look perfect yet natural.

*As written for Pretty Savvy